RLL - How can I effectively onboard a new hire?

In this episode of Real Life Leadership we'll talk about onboarding and how to make the first days of a new hire unforgettable

The topic of the this episode of Real Life Leadership (RLL) dives into one of the most common (and underestimated) leadership failures that I’ve seen happening in pretty much every companies: poor onboarding. Today, we’re focusing on the (in)famous first phase of any professional relationship—welcoming a new talent to your team.

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression

This line applies to almost any human interaction: meeting a new friend, the first day of school, a romantic first date - or, in our case, onboarding a new hire.
Yes, mistakes happen in relationships. A hiccup here and there is normal. But when a mistake happens at the very beginning, it can set the tone for the entire relationship. First impressions lay the groundwork for trust, expectations, and belonging. If the start is bumpy, the rest of the journey shifts from relationship building to relationship saving.
And that’s exactly why onboarding isn’t just “HR stuff” - it’s leadership in action. A successful onboarding is the foundation of a strong working relationship. Let’s see how to make sure that this very delicate moment is handled correctly.

Different perspectives

The first thing to consider while talking about onboarding is that employee and employer have different perspectives and face different challenges during the first days, weeks and months of the working relationship.
For employers, a failed onboarding might result in losing a new hire during the probation period - costly, sure, but often considered an acceptable risk during growth. Let’s be honest I’ve never heard of a company collapsing over a couple of bad hires.
For employees, however, a failed onboarding can have serious personal consequences: financial stress, imposter syndrome, or even lasting emotional trauma.
To put it simple, a failed onboarding is way more damaging and has a bigger negative impact on an employee than on the employer who, in this relationship, holds a position of power.
The stakes are not equal - and that’s why onboarding must be designed with the employee as the focal point.

Build a real process

Onboarding is not a walk in the park and this phase should be given the right importance and not conducted randomly without the proper preparation.
A successful onboarding process should be based on the following points:

• Welcome

• Network development

• Knowledge gathering

• Confidence building

Welcome

You are welcoming a new member in your team, make sure that the first day goes as smooth as possible or, at least, there is someone there to help if things go south. This is the reason why nominating a “buddy“ for the new team member is a great way to make sure that the new joiner feels supported and helped entering a completely new environment.
Being picked up at the entrance and get an office tour, drink the first coffee together, setup the working laptop and create all the accesses needed; those are activities that are often cumbersome and having a friendly hand to help goes a long way. It’s also important for the team to have some time to welcome the new joiner, the first day is a great opportunity to go out and have lunch together; it might be my Italian soul speaking but I strongly believe that relationships are easier built in front of a pizza and the first day of working is the perfect occasion to have a team lunch - just keep in mind that people might have food restrictions tho.

Pro tip: if there are unwritten rules that the new joiner should be aware of, be sure that you make them clear before the person starts. Trust me, you don’t want to be the guy wearing a suite in a working environment where everybody wear hoodies, people will call you “James Bond“ for months; been there, done that, it’s a funny story now but I would have definitely liked to know the dress code beforehand.

Network development

After the initial introductions, it’s time to connect the dots; given the fact that a proper team introduction should have already happened during the first day, it’s now time to get in touch with the rest of the company.
Who is working at the IT department? Who is the responsible HR person for this area? Understanding who is doing what is incredibly important to navigate the office life, save time when the right person is needed and avoid communication mistakes that could be easily prevented.

Pro tip: when I join a new company, I spend a couple of hours working near the coffee machine. It’s a low-pressure, natural way to meet people - and coffee chats build relationships fast. Give it a try!

Knowledge gathering

Ok, now we are getting into the hard part: the knowledge gathering phase.
In this phase a new joiner starts going through the knowledge base and learns how things work. Understanding the company processes, the team ceremonies or the development workflow are all great example of the knowledge that a new joiner is supposed to gather in this phase.
It is extremely important for a new person to have a mentor or a buddy here, able to guide them through the - usually - big amount of documentation that should be digested; the person taking care of the onboarding should be available and supportive, prioritizing the information that must be assimilated first.

Pro tip: Start a personal knowledge base from day one. Write things down in your own words. Regularly check in with your buddy to ensure you're on track - and don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions.

Confidence building

The confidence building phase starts when the new joiner has gathered enough context to start doing some actual work.
Confidence in a new environment is built successfully accomplishing tasks that get more and more difficult with time; no need to say that starting small is paramount here.
In order to better understand this concept is worth looking at the work of Lev Vygotsky, the psychologist who introduced the concept of Zone Of Proximal Development (ZPD).
According to Vygotsky there are three zones when it comes to learning new things:

• Can do zone: the area of topics that a person can handle autonomously without any support

• Zone of Proximal Development: the concepts that a learner can master with some sort of help

• Out of Reach: all the concepts that are too hard to learn with the current knowledge of the learner

From personal experience, confidence is built accomplishing tasks that come mainly from the Can do Zone and from the ZPD in a 70/30 ratio. Remember: onboarding is not about proving immediate value - it's about setting the stage for sustainable success.
Yes the “hit the ground running“ prerequisite that many jobs have is pure crap and one of the biggest red flag I’ve seen in job descriptions; achieving success is always a step-by-step process.

Pro tip: if you are leading a team make sure to always have a list of topics that can be used to onboard someone. In the context of a development team, small tasks like refactoring, test coverage or small and nice to have features are great tasks for new joiners to get acquainted to the new environment. The Github “beginner tag” is a good example of what I’m talking about and can be easily replicated in pretty much every development team.

Don’t forget to learn

The end of the onboarding process is just the beginning of the working relationship. Once the new joiner is integrated, take the time to gather feedback on their experience.

• What worked?

• What felt confusing?

• What could have made things easier?

This feedback is gold. It helps you refine the onboarding process and shows the new hire you care about their perspective.
Because remember: “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression” cuts both ways. It applies to the new employee, but it applies equally to your company and your leadership.

Conclusions

Great onboarding is strategic, not administrative. It sets the tone for culture, performance, and retention. Done well, it builds trust, accelerates integration, and boosts morale. Done poorly, it leads to confusion, disengagement, and early exits.
So next time you bring someone new on board, take a breath, slow down, and welcome with intention and empathy.
Because in leadership - and in life - how you start matters.